Clark Kent And SG-1: The Christmas Crisis
by SuperBear
Summary: To battle their newest enemy, Clark and SG-1 team up with George Bailey, Ralph Parker ("A Christmas Story"), Kevin McAllister ("Home Alone"), and Ebenezer Scrooge. They all must help O'Neill cope with the loss of his son, and somehow find Christmas joy, so they can defeat the enemy.


Along with their new associates, Clark Kent and SG-1 were engulfed in Darkness.

Okay. They weren't Clark and SG-1, exactly. They were duplicates created by the powerful race "the Q" to deal with any crisis involving the multiple universes.

But they had all the memories, all the characteristics and all the attributes of the original Clark and SG-1. At a time like this, that could be a disadvantage.

"Jack, we have to go," Clark urged as he tugged on the colonel's green uniform. His friend and team leader, Colonel Jack O'Neill, sat on the ground with his head bowed.

"We must move, O-Neill," Teal'c said in his deep voice. "The longer we remain, the more the Darkness will engulf the multiple universes."

Next to Teal'c, Doctor Daniel Jackson glanced around nervously while Major Samantha Carter simply stared with moist eyes. Engulfed in Darkness, they were temporarily unable to speak or move.

A feeble voice followed. "My light is going out, Colonel O-Neill." Ebenezer Scrooge held up glowing gnarled fingers. Ever since his conversion from miser to generous man, Scrooge had been given the power to create Christmas light in the darkest of places. Even in the minds of men. At least that was true of Scrooge from Universe X.

"I don't want to stay here any more than I wanted to stay in Pottersville," George Bailey muttered. Converted from despondent man to hopeful-joyful man one fateful Christmas Eve, this George had the power to open portals and doorways into other realms. For whatever the need might be.

George leaned in toward the team leader.

"Colonel O-Neill," he said in a stammering voice. "This is George Bailey. Don't you know me?"

Only briefly looking up with bleary eyes, O'Neill waved his hand at him. "I know who you are. I saw the movie. It used to be on all the time. On every station!"

"My movie plays a lot, too," Ralph Parker said with a grin. Though a full-grown man, Ralph still had a boyish face.

"Mine, too," Kevin McAllister said almost apologetically. He was only slightly taller than Ralph.

O'Neill struggled to stand, with Clark and Teal'c moving to assist him. But then the colonel plopped back down.

O'Neill spoke in a low muttering voice laced with sadness.

"It's just that after Charlie died, I stopped celebrating Christmas. I mean, what's Christmas without a kid?"

"I get it, Jack," Clark said. "It was kind of like that for Lex after his mother died."

"Are there not many children you could assist, O-Neill?" Teal'c asked.

Again, O'Neill waved his hand. "I can't think about that right now, Teal'c. Right now, this is hitting me hard."

A scene appeared to them: familiar figures walking in front of the Talon. Pete Ross, Lana Lang, Chloe Sullivan and Lex Luthor glared harshly at each other as they passed without saying a word.

"This is no doubt the Anti-Claus trying to discourage us," Teal'c commented.

"I wonder which Smallville this is," Clark mused. He didn't want to say it out loud but it was probably most of them. Soon it would be all of them.

He saw an image of his parents, or at least an image of Jonathan and Martha Kent in some Smallville somewhere. They both looked sulky and scornful. Jonathan had an angry look on his face like he was under the influence of the Nicodemus flower again.

Another scene appeared of General George Hammond barking orders at Staff Sergeant Walter Harriman and Sergeant Siler. While Siler stood with his head bowed, Harriman sat at his station glaring with arms crossed. In the corridors of the Stargate Command base, people in uniform shot harsh looks at each other.

Multiple scenes appeared of gloomy Smallvilles and darkened Stargate Command bases, all complete with angry glaring people.

"Not exactly 'Silver Bells,' is it?" Ralph said with a nervous chuckle.

At Clark's confused wince, Kevin elaborated. "In that song, people pass each other, 'meeting smile after smile.'" He tilted his head toward the spectre-like figures glaring at each other. "This is the exact opposite."

"It is indeed the opposite," Scrooge said.

"It is very likely that this is happening throughout the multiple universes," Teal'c said.

"A million Pottervilles," George murmured. "Maybe more."

Scrooge shivered. "It is more frightening than the three spirits who visited me."

"As it should be, Ebenezer Scrooge."

Teal'c was cut off when Kevin slapped hands to his face and screamed. Kevin had the ability to sense danger, and this was how he warned others.

When the team worked with a certain red-and-blue hero, Peter Parker commented that Kevin's ability was like his spider-sense, only much more annoying.

"What is it, Kev?" Clark asked.

They soon saw. A glowing green figure emerged from the Darkness, green claws extended, fiendish yellow smile and red eyes shooting out rays. Immediately, Ralph fired his modified Red Ryder BB gun; the Grinch covered his eyes and stumbled around. Kevin pushed a button on a remote control. Paint cans hit the Grinch, and he slipped on ice, yelping all the way as he tumbled into a portal.

Daniel held up a finger, his clarification finger. "Excuse me. Was that the Grinch?"

Kevin smiled. "Not exactly. Just one of the Dark Creatures appearing in the form of the Grinch."

"Yeah, the Grinch is for little kids." Ralph pushed up his glasses. Under his blond bowl haircut, he looked like Cousin Oliver from "The Brady Bunch."

Scrooge held up a gnarled finger. "Do not let these manifestations fool you, Doctor Jackson. They appear harmless and amusing. But they bring deep despair."

"I know despair," George said. "One night I wanted to jump off a bridge. But I got through that. Now I'm immune to the Dark Creatures."

"Lucky you," O'Neill muttered, head still bowed.

Carter whispered to Daniel. "Still can't believe some of the people we work with."

"Right?" Daniel said.

Ralph propped his rifle on his shoulder. "We've been dealing with these Christmas crises a lot longer than you guys."

"Better you than me," O'Neill murmured.

Kevin nodded around the room. "George is immune. Ralph uses his rifle to mess with their vision. I provide the instant booby traps." He wiggled his finger over the remote control. "I think it. I push a button. Instant booby trap. All while Scrooge provides the light."

"Thanks for the update," O'Neill said, even more low energy.

Clark bent over. "Jack, when we're dealing with Darkness, talking about normal stuff can help."

"Except this isn't normal, Clark."

"It never is."

"The situation is urgent," Scrooge said. "Never before have we had a crisis dealing with so many worlds."

"Sorry," O'Neill said. "Can't help you."

George opened a door, ushering in light and warmth.

"Let's go in here," he said quietly.

"Don't make me carry you, Jack," Clark said.

Slowly, O'Neill rose. One by one, they entered. A roaring fireplace was ornamented with colorful bulbs, garland and stockings. Including one of Yoda in a Santa suit.

"It is like something out of a Hallmark Channel movie," Teal'c said.

Daniel made a face. "Teal'c, you watch Hallmark Channel movies?"

"Indeed."

Colonel O'Neill stood at the center of the room but his eyes were moist.

"Sarah and I," O'Neill muttered as Clark stood next to him. "We couldn't...Christmas...it was just too painful, too much. You know?"

Teal'c stood by the fireplace with his hands behind his back. "We sympathize, O-Neill. But we cannot face the Anti-Claus while you are in this condition."

"Go without me," O'Neill whispered.

"We cannot."

"Without you, we will not have enough power to face the darkest of Dark Ones," Scrooge said.

"I don't care!" O'Neill shouted. "I'm tired of bailing everyone out! Let someone else do it." He plopped down in a chair. "I'm just very tired, all right?"

A gloomy silence filled the room, finally broken by Carter's light sigh.

"Now that I think of it, Christmas with my dad wasn't always so great. Especially when he and my brother argued."

Daniel wore a blank look. "After my parents died, it was hard." He blinked away tears. "It was hard, you know?" he choked.

"Oh, dear," Scrooge said. He placed a hand on Clark's shoulder. "Clark, surely you remain strong?"

Clark shook his head. "I don't know," he whispered. "Lana always seemed so sad at Christmas. And then after Whitney...And Chloe seemed sad, too...And there was Greg Arkin and so many others who died...the meteor shower. How many people had their Christmas ruined because of the meteor shower, because of me?" Clark fell silent.

"Oh, my," Scrooge said.

"That's not good," Ralph said.

"I don't think we're up for it," Daniel said in a weary voice. The fire was going out as the decorations fell off.

"The Dark One has wounded them greatly, I fear."

"They'll get through it," George said. "Just like I did."

O'Neill held up clenched fists. "That monster! How could he do this, remind me of that, make it fresh and new?"

"It is true you have experienced a great wound, O-Neill." Teal'c stepped forward. "You have all experienced great loss. But you must try to remember more joyful times."

"Pass," O'Neill said.

"It's hard, Teal'c," Clark said.

"The Darkness," Daniel said as he trembled.

"It's so oppressive." Carter hugged herself as she shivered. "It's so cold."

"Cold," O'Neill whispered. "Like Antarctica."

"Where I kept sliding down that frozen incline." Carter briefly managed a smile.

But the room darkened. Even Scrooge's light dimmed.

The door burst open, letting in a cold blast and a host of Who's. They were evil Who's with claws and fangs. Ralph fired his Red Ryder gun, causing the Who's to scream as they blinked their glowing yellow eyes. Kevin used his remote control, bringing paint cans, metals bars and ice. George opened a portal, and the evil Who's tumbled into it.

Clark and SG-1 just stood there blank-faced. Moving to the center of the room, Teal'c addressed them.

"I shall assist you. Although I did not celebrate Christmas on Chulak, I shall imagine the celebration of Christmas with my wife and son."

"Whatever you imagine becomes real here," George explained. "That's why I brought us here."

A scene unfolded around them with Teal'c dressed as Santa handing out presents. His teammates blinked their eyes. Clark formed a bemused smile.

"This is based on my viewing of Christmas television specials," Teal'c explained.

"Does that explain why Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is in the room with us?" Daniel asked with a frown.

"Rudolph is irrelevant," Teal'c said blithely. "What is important is the creation of a 'merry Christmas' scene."

"You are quite correct in your assessment, Mister Teal'c," Scrooge said. "That is the way to fight the effects of the Dark One."

Teal'c went on. "This scene is based on Hallmark Channel movies. Also on Paul McCartney's 'Wonderful Christmastime.'"

Daniel blinked in confusion. "Wait, what? You listen to Christmas songs?"

"I do many things between missions."

"Apparently."

"I believe it," Clark said with a grin. "Teal'c's got a point, guys. We've got to think of good stuff to do with Christmas even if it's only what we imagine."

Scrooge smiled. "Like in that song. 'I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams.'" As he held out one hand, he seemed to picture home.

Carter made a face. "Isn't that song after your time? Like way after your time?"

Scrooge's laughter was warm and gracious. "It is indeed, Major Carter. But ever since Mister Q sent me out on missions, I have immersed myself in Christmas music from all time periods. And even other worlds. Have you ever heard 'The Christmas Song' in Klingon?"

"Can't say that I have," Carter said.

"There's also 'Oh, Christmas Tree' in Elven," George said. "It was all a little strange at first but Zuzu seemed to like it."

"She sure did," Ralph said as he beamed.

"As we imagine a merry Christmas, it should be instrumental in helping O-Neill overcome the Darkness. It will strengthen us all against the Darkness." Teal'c then embraced his wife and son. As he did, Master Bra'tac placed a hand on his massive shoulder.

"Merry Christmas, Teal'c," he said in his slightly rough aged voice.

Smiling, Teal'c bowed. "And to you as well, old friend."

While a smiling Bra'tac vanished, O'Neill sat with his head bowed. "Sorry, Teal'c. It's not working."

Teal'c squatted to address his friend. "O-Neill," he said quietly. "Try to remember good memories with your son."

"I can't."

Scrooge stepped forward. "Let me offer my assistance, Mister Teal'c." He leaned forward. "Colonel O-Neill, besides being given the power of Christmas light, I can, with some effort, bring out memories of Christmas past."

"I appreciate the offer, Scrooge," O'Neill mumbled as he looked up with bleary eyes. "Frankly, I don't think it'll do any good. Think I'll pass."

Clark glanced at Carter and Daniel who glanced back with their own worried expressions. Clark had seen the colonel defeated before but nothing like this.

"The Anti-Claus really got to him," Clark whispered.

"I haven't see him this tired since he was downloaded with the language of the Ancients," Daniel said.

"Guess the Anti-Claus knew what would really hurt him," Clark said.

"Let's see if Scrooge can help him," Carter said with moist eyes. She had been similarly tearful when trapped in Antarctica with the colonel.

Scrooge looked intensely into the colonel's face. "There is another memory that can help get us to the one we need. Doctor Jackson and Mister Teal'c told me about the time the time you and Mister Teal'c were caught in a, what did they call it, Kevin?"

"A time loop."

"Yes, a time loop. And there was an archaeologist you had something in common with."

Scrooge held out a glowing hand, and a scene unfolded around them. Clark stood with his friends as O'Neill approached a man behind a machine console made of what looked like stone cubes.

"What kind of archaeologist carries a weapon?" O'Neill demanded.

"I do," Daniel said quietly as he lifted a finger. Clark grinned as he grabbed Daniel's arm and lifted it.

"Bad example," O'Neill conceded. The scene froze.

Clark looked sheepish. "Maybe I shouldn't have done that."

"No, Clark, it's fine," Scrooge assured him. "The more we can inject humor into this, the more we can create the Christmas joy we need to fight the Anti-Claus."

"And with your strong Kryptonian spirit, it makes sense you'd be the first to recover from the Darkness," Kevin said. Next to him, Ralph nodded vigorously.

"Help your friends as well," George urged.

Clark smiled and nodded. "Will do." The scene unfroze. He leaned in toward Daniel and whispered. "Which way do the bullets go in again?" It referred to the time a criminal working with SG-1 complained she didn't feel confident with an archaologist watching her back.

"Thanks, Clark," Daniel said. He and the others turned their attention back to O'Neill and the other archaeologist.

"You wouldn't understand," the man at the console said meekly.

"Try me," O'Neill said.

The man explained he was trying to travel back in time to once again be with his wife before she passed away.

"And then what?" O'Neill asked.

The man's voice cracked. "She'll die." He continued in a stammering voice. "You wouldn't, you couldn't possibly understand."

"I lost my son!" O'Neill shouted. All present were silent and still. "And much as I would like to see him again, I would never want to relive that."

Clark stepped forward, toward the image of O'Neill acting out the memory.. "Traveling back in time is never a good idea. There's so much that can happen."

Still seated in that chair, the real O'Neill mumbled his response. "This isn't part of what happened, Clark. You weren't there."

Clark turned away from the imaginary console and toward his friend. "I know, Jack. But sometimes it's all right if someone helps you. Like all the times Chloe helped me. Or when Oliver helped Jimmy get a new start. You don't have to do it all on your own, Jack." Clark nodded to the other team members. "We're here for you."

"It's true, sir," Carter said in a slightly tearful voice.

The scene faded away, and they were back in front of the fireplace.

"Thanks, guys," O'Neill said. He closed his eyes, and his head dropped.

"The stress of that memory seems to have knocked him out," George observed.

"That should help Colonel O-Neill recall some wonderful Christmas memories of his son," Scrooge said quietly. "That memory we just saw acts as a kind of bridge."

Although Ebenezer was by no means an attractive man—with his scraggly white hair, he looked like a hag-his smile and his warm voice made him very likeable.

Clark pointed to the sleeping colonel. "Do we need to wake him up?"

"Let him rest for a little bit," Scrooge said.

"Do we have time?" Clark asked.

"It won't take long," Scrooge said.

"We should plan our strategy for dealing with the Anti-Claus," Teal'c said.

Kevin wore an impish smile. "If we need Christmas cheer, perhaps we should unleash our greatest weapon." Turning to Ralph, Kevin raised his eyebrows. "Ralph, would you do the honors, please?"

At first, Ralph frowned then a look of realization spread across his face. With wide eyes, he shook his head.

"Oh, no. No way."

Kevin tilted his head while merry blue eyes danced. "Come on, Ralph." He adopted a humorous deep voice. "Ralphie!"

"We do need some Christmas cheer, Ralph," George said. "And heaven knows, S-G-One needs a healthy dose of it."

"Indeed," Scrooge and Teal'c said together after which Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

"What's going on?" Clark asked, making his wince-face.

"You'll see," Kevin said with a smirk.

With a deep sigh, Ralph moved hands over his plaid shirt and blue jeans. Next thing he was dressed in a pink bunny suit.

Except for the sleeping O'Neill, Clark and the other team members had to suppress their laughter, though Teal'c simply smiled.

"You'd be surprised," Kevin said. "Some of our darkest enemies have fallen before the Pink Bunny Suit."

"Not even the Anti-Claus could resist this," George said. Ralph simply sulked.

O'Neill sat up, looking a little more alert than before though still a little sad.

Scrooge turned to Clark and SG-1. "Now, all of you, imagine a scene of great Christmas cheer. I know Christmas has done wonders for me!" The old man giggled.

As Teal'c bowed, a scene unfolded around him. Chloe, Lana, Jonathan, Clark and Martha presnted each other with wrapped boxes. Carter simply hugged her father Jacob.

"Merry Christmas, Dad."

"Merry Christmas, Sam," Jacob said quietly.

Once again, Teal'c embraced his wife and son while Daniel hugged his parents.

At the center of it all was a little boy. O'Neill knelt down and extended his arms as he whispered.

"Charlie."

The boy ran forward, and O'Neill caught him up in his arms. As he embraced Charlie, he kept whispering his name over and over. His eyes were squeezed shut as a tear made its way down.

When the embrace finally ended, the boy faded away. A somber-faced O'Neill stood up and adjusted his cap.

"Let's go," he said.

Once George opened a wormhole, they went into the dark, ice-cold realm of the Anti-Claus. Sure enough, the great dark creature laughed when he saw Ralph in his pink bunny suit. His rumbling laugh, like his voice, was much like that of Jabba the Hutt.

The loud laughter caused the ground to shake violently.

"Hey, watch it," O'Neill said.

Scrooge's light was brighter than ever, and George opened the doors to realms that let in light and warmth. While the Dark Creatures screamed, light surrounded Clark and SG-1.

O'Neill stood straighter than before, his eyes slightly narrowed.

"I'd say you're done for, Anti-Claus," he said.

"Bah!" the great dark massive creature snorted.

Scrooge waved light-filled hands. "You, sir, are a humbug. And I know humbug!"

"That's telling him, Scrooge," O'Neill said.

George pointed an accusing finger at the creature. "You sure attacked me on my crucial night," he drawled. "But I got through it. And now this whole team has gotten through what you've done!"

"That's telling him, George."

Kevin waved a fist as he narrowed his blue eyes. "You didn't get to me when I was home alone."

"Now we're stronger than ever!" Ralph raised a triumphant pink bunny paw. Carter snorted up laughter but quickly collected herself.

The members of SG-1 were all armed with duplicates of Ralph's Red Ryder rifle, and as they fired, white beams of light shot out. All around them, Dark Creatures screamed and writhed then shattered. Clark ran around at super-speed, hurling Dark Creatures into the beams of light.

The light grew wider in area and scope until it engulfed the entire area. The few remaining Dark Creatures disintegrated with a loud sucking noise while the Anti-Claus broke apart with a great roar followed by a blinding flash of light.

Once that white light faded, the team members found themselves back in that room with the fireplace. From there, they returned to their home base in Smallville. As they walked through the downtown area, they found a more cheerful scene than they one they saw in the Darkness. All around them, people smiled and waved. Strangers even greeted them with "Merry Christmas."

"You, too," O'Neill said to the most recent stranger. Raising his eyebrows, he glanced around. "Looks like things are back to normal here."

"Or as normal as they get in Smallville," Clark said.

"Especially when it's our Smallville," Daniel said.

"With a Stargate," Carter added.

"Indeed."

"But this is where we'll spend Christmas," Daniel said.

Wearing a slight grin, O'Neill spread his hands. "And what better place to be, Daniel?"

Once again, Daniel adjusted his glasses. "Actually, we have to spend Christmas in Smallville. Mainly because this place the Q created for us has nothing outside Smallville. Kind of like in that 'Twilight Zone' episode where the boy had just the town and his family's farm."

With eyebrows up, O'Neill tilted his head. "Was the boy on the farm a super-powered boy, Daniel?"

"Kind of. He had mental powers."

"An egghead, huh? Never met one of those."

Clark wore his wince-face. "Not sure how I feel about living in the 'Twilight Zone.'"

"As long as this 'twilight zone' has no system lords, it is agreeable to me, Clark Kent."

O'Neill removed his gloves. "Teal'c's got a point, Clark. It's not the zone, it's the people you're with. Christmas in Smallville is okay with me. More than okay."

Carter turned to the four members of the Christmas team. "You guys want to join us?"

"It sounds wonderful, Major Carter," George drawled.

Ralph's eyes lit up. "Can we go through the Stargate?"

"Sure," Carter said with a smile and a shrug.

"You are unlikely to find Christmas celebrated on other worlds, Ralph Parker."

"Perhaps we could spread Christmas cheer to those other worlds, Mister Teal'c."

Teal'c smiled. "Perhaps so, Ebenezer Scrooge."

As they headed for the Kent farm, Clark said, "I suppose I could find some way to explain you to my parents. I'll say you're carolers or something."

While Clark's parents were only duplicates, it was still best not to disorient or upset them.

"I'm not a very good singer," Kevin conceded. "Though I lip-sync pretty good." To demonstrate, he activated a music player at his side then held up an imaginary microphone. While a man with a deep voice sang a slightly upbeat "White Christmas," Kevin moved his mouth.

Clark smiled. "My mom and dad will love that."

Ralph was back in his normal clothes, Red Ryder rifle perched on his shoulder. "Hey, can my wife Zuzu come, too?"

While Clark winced, Daniel's face briefly scrunched up. "Wait. You're married to Zuzu?"

"Uh-huh," Ralph said with a nod.

George chuckled. "Not exactly the son-in-law I was expecting."

With a brief affirmative nod, Clark smiled. "You know what? The more, the merrier."

"Great," Ralph said. "Open a portal, George. I mean, Dad."

As George opened a door to his home realm, O'Neill was silent. He was lost in a happy Christmas memory from long ago.

"Hey, Ebenezer?"

"Yes, Colonel O-Neill?"

"Thanks," he said quietly.

Scrooge smiled. "You're most welcome, good sir." He spread out his arms, almost as if he were taking in all the people of Smallville. Maybe even the whole wide world.

As he held out his arms, he spoke in a voice most joyous.

"God bless us, everyone! Merry Christmas!"

"Hear, hear!" George said as Ralph disappeared into the portal.

"Good to know you're better, Jack," Daniel said as the others murmured their agreement.

"We were a little worried there," Clark said a wince and a grin. "Just for a moment."

As they stood there waiting for Ralph to return with Zuzu, O'Neill had a realization. Along with the wonderful Christmas memory Scrooge had given him, O'Neill knew there were plenty of children he could help in other realms and other worlds. And he could offer that help in honor of Charlie.

And who knows, he thought as he shook his head a little. Maybe Daniel, Carter, Teal'c and Clark would all like to join in on helping those kids.

And they could do so throughout all the year.


End file.
